It’s a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.
Can’t let that happen again.
…again?
The events inspired the band Powerwolf.
“The Pope was bitten by a wolf while going out for a shit. Somebody call Maxwell!”
Check the bathroom window for finger prints.
Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.
Hit him once. If he shouts, you’ve got two more swings to make him stop.
“One” hit
“Two” hit Pope: “Ouch!”
…
…
“What do we do now?” “Just hit harder, it’s a self-solving problem”
“Three” smash Pope: “OUCH!!!”
…
…
“Now what?”
Is it to make sure, or is it to make sure?
They should abstain from the hammer this time round. Zombie pope is the 2025 twist no-one would see coming.
The MitreSmiter 9000. Puts all doubt to rest.
What about the holy hand grenade?
First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.
Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.
Gotta love The Book of Armaments.
It even used to be in Warhammer 40k as wargear for the Space Marine chapter Black Templars. Special hand grenades called Holy Orbs of Antioch
HAAAALELUJAH
+5 damage and THAC0 against undead (Pope)
you know it’s an ancient artifact when it uses THAC0
Plot twist: THAC0 bonus actually reduced your THAC0
This felt like a personal attack
I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.
It gives +5 to-hit and damage, +2d6 holy damage, +5 to carpentry skill, and can only be equipped by Catholics. It deals double damage to lycanthropes.
Yeah, but the lawful evil alignment restriction, fuck that.
may we have a photo?
I think it also has a set bonus with the crown. There’s a shroud in that set too, IIRC.
Silas? Is that you?
“I fear the Pope has died!”
“You can’t say things like that! You have to be sure!”
*wham-“Ack!!” wham wham
“OK, I’m sure the pope is dead.”
It was in a book of papal facts my very Catholic childhood friend had on the bus one time, so I buy it. One additional aspect I remember is that they call them by their Christian/given name when they hit them.
Popehammer is my favorite Elder Scrolls artifact.
Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths
Maybe the pope gets a bonk every day to ensure that he is, in fact, still alive?
Only if he’s sleeping VERY soundly.
Could be, it’s the only bonk he’ll get
In the popemobile trunk. Obviously…
He carries it under his pointy hat
The Hammer of Pope-o-cles.
Pope Says he’s feeling better now…
Which side do they hit him with?
Flat, spike, flat
Owwie.
Then flat flat spike spike for good measure
Flat, flat, spike, spike, handle, butt, handle, butt, B, A Start.
Followed by a bop it and twist it.
We already had two popes at the same time, we don’t need 30.
Clearly an anti zombie tool. Can’t have the pope rising from the dead, it’d mess up the church’s image.
