• steeznson@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    I wish people didn’t hyperfixate on labels so much these days. I feel like it causes more problems than it solves in terms of creating an identity someone needs to stick to instead of letting people just be themselves.

    • twice_hatch@midwest.social
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      53 minutes ago

      idk I don’t wanna call myself bi cause I’m not into most men I’ve ever met, I don’t wanna mislead people

      • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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        15 minutes ago

        The thing about labels is that their usage depends on the particular context at time of use. I have a friend who is non binary, for example, but finds herself weary of explaining how someone can be femme presenting, use she/her pronouns, and be non binary. This means that when talking to people who aren’t LGBTQ, she finds “lesbian” is the most effective label to communicate, even though it’s a label she has largely outgrown the truth of. For some people, how they engage with identity labels is quite straightforward, and they present the same labels out to the entire world. For other people, more nuance is needed, and that’s okay too.

        That is to say that if you read the above comment and thought “bi but with a type sounds like me, but I don’t want to call myself bi”, that’s fine. Labels like “bi” can help make oneself be more legible to the world at large, but you do not owe the world that. You are allowed to have complexity that doesn’t neatly fit into simple labels, and even if you did strongly identify with a label, you’re not obligated to divulge this freely.

  • Boddhisatva@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    I think trying to define it is fairly pointless. We love what we love and we lust what we lust. Rather than defining it, I wish we could all just accept that and stop hating people for having different preferences.

    • trolololol@lemmy.world
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      2 hours ago

      Yep. We don’t give names for people who like red and their second favourite colour is yellow.

      Just be yourself, be kind to others and move on.

    • angrystego@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      Yep, but sometimes you want to communicate about your preferences, and then you need understandable terminology. Giving names to phenomena is generally useful. Discussing things is useful. Understanding natural diversity is great and important.

  • 11111one11111@lemmy.world
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    13 hours ago

    Fucked if I know the new terms but for my entire 20+ years of sexually active life, you would be classified as bi. But like I said or implied, Im old as fuck and have no clue what the currently accepted term may be. If I need to know the new sexuality/gender terms then im fucking a woman who is way too young than I should be fucking with. Thats a statement of the types of people who live in my area and not a blanket statement that no older individuals use current sexuality identities.

  • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    12 hours ago

    From Fetlife’s Kinktionary:

    Finsexual: Usually refers to a person who is attracted to femininity regardless of a person’s gender identity. Is sometimes considered more inclusive than Gynesexual (as the prefix “gyne” focuses on female anatomy).

      • dumblederp@aussie.zone
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        9 hours ago

        They probably mean it more in the sense of common, regular, standard or majority. If I say I’m a normal bloke happy with my gender, I’m not trying to shit on trans people, I’m just talking about myself.

    • my_hat_stinks@programming.dev
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      12 hours ago

      Fuck that, that’s implying any other orientation is abnormal. People should have the right words to describe their sexuality.

      Thanks for downvote, but your response is still somewhere between unhelpful and a dog whistle.

      • lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world
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        12 hours ago

        i get what you’re trying to say, but maybe the poster was trying to be inclusive. being attracted to feminine people regardless of genitalia is not what most bigots would consider normal. my answer to the question “is it normal to be attracted to x” is “yes”, provided that x is a human person old enough to consent. in my opinion, it is also normal to not be attracted to anything. i am using normal in the value-judgement sense, not in the statistical sense.

      • Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world
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        12 hours ago

        Is there a secret, hidden insult in that comment that only you can see? Is it in the room with us right now?

        • my_hat_stinks@programming.dev
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          11 hours ago

          Alice: So, how do you identify?
          Bob: Normal.

          What’s the odds Bob’s a bigot? Someone asked how to describe their sexuality, “normal” is not a useful answer.

          • fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            10 hours ago

            Sure, if that’s you’re response to that exact question then yeah. But lets be honest here. Sub 10% of the population is identifies as anywhere on the LGBTQ spectrum (more or less). It’s pretty safe to say that if 90% of anything is ___ that’s the normal thing. I don’t understand why so many people are afraid of being labeled abnormal. Abnormal =/= morally wrong or anything.

            • Ava@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              8 hours ago

              While it’s <10% across the entire population, LGBTQ identification rates are at 23% for GenZ. https://news.gallup.com/poll/656708/lgbtq-identification-rises.aspx

              But the reason it’s an issue for many is that people don’t really say “normal” to refer to things like sexuality, gender, etc. in a “statistically most likely” way, they use it specifically to exclude the other group from being considered normal as something lesser. Or, to put it another way…

              Let’s be honest here. a high percentage of the time that someone categorizes something (implicitly or explicitly) as “abnormal” it is done with intent to label the subject as something undesirable. It’s pretty safe to say that if a term is very often used in a negative way in a specific context, then we can reasonably assume that default definition when that’s the context we’re in. I don’t understand why people are so often afraid to acknowledge that we don’t live in a world of pure definitions, and rather must exist in a situation where the context of a statement is relevant.

        • tonyn@lemmy.ml
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          11 hours ago

          I believe it implies that being attracted to masculine people is abnormal. This isn’t an insult, but is sexist.

      • glimse@lemmy.world
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        10 hours ago

        This reminds me of that Tumblr post about how the left is so focused on “never being wrong” and how the in-fighting about the most irrelevant shit holds us back

  • fabsecretpowers@lemmynsfw.com
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    10 hours ago

    I’m assuming you’re male? If so, this sounds like an exact description of my sexuality. If someone really wants specifics, I usually just say “I like femmes/femininity” or “I’m not into mascs.” But 99% of the time I just say I’m straight. Seems accurate enough to me