• Phanlix@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Dude for real. A cheap bidet attachment for your toilet is the way to go.

      First off, a bidet is better than toilet paper. I’ve been using it for years, and it cleans you 100%. I use basically 1 square of TP to dry myself after, and it’s always completely clean. If you had a bird shit on your arm would you just wipe it off with paper and call it a day?

      I laughed at all my friends who made fun of me for getting one on all my toilets after the great TP shortage of 2021, and a few of them ended up switching over.

      For the apocalypse I have a camping toilet with a foot operated bidet. I mean I already use it when car camping, and I have a hand bidet for backpacking.

      Solar panels are also in play. I also bought a freeze dryer and have about 5 deers worth of freeze dried jerky, and buy and freeze dry on sale fruit and veggies pretty regularly. I try to maintain around a 1-2 year supply of on hand food. A few steel plates, ar-15 pistol, and enough ammo to hold off the upper floor for quite a while too, but that’s another conversation. I’m as ready to go as I can though, let’s do this.

      • Mbourgon everywhere@lemmy.world
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        11 months ago

        Is there a trick I’m missing? Spray my butthole for 30 seconds and I need pretty much as much TP, actually more because the first batches get wet.

        • Jax@sh.itjust.works
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          11 months ago

          No, but realistically the argument that bidets are better for the environment is kind of shit anyway.

          You do it for a clean butthole. For a guy like me with a pair of legs belonging to a werewolf, you might end up wiping more but the end result is a clean ass without taking a shower. Worth.

        • Phanlix@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          If your stream is at the max setting that’s comfortable and you move around a bit and make sure to get the whole area I’ve got nothing for you other than a recommendation to up the fiber in your diet.

          I did get a nicer one that can just about peel the skin off on the highest setting, but even the lower quality one I have on the main bathroom downstairs gets me completely clean. I do tend to use it longer than 30 seconds, I’m pretty thorough about the rinse process.

        • Kedly@lemm.ee
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          11 months ago

          I’ve now used japanese style ones and Indonesian style ones and I can say people might be talking about different types. The Japanese style ones that just shoot a water fountain at your butt are fanvy, but I found I still needed to wipe. Indonesian hose style? That fucker will blast all the shit off your ass with just the water

        • Habahnow@sh.itjust.works
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          11 months ago

          I just use like 2 squares of toilet paper first to mostly dry myself, then like 3-4 to make sure I’m completely wiped. I’m not hairless down there either and that usually works for me.

      • DominusOfMegadeus@sh.itjust.works
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        11 months ago

        I’m thinking we set up our cooperative farm/compound in Anchorage. It’s gorgeous, and one of the places least likely to be affected by climate change disasters.

        • Phanlix@lemmy.world
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          11 months ago

          You have no idea the temptation I have to do just that. A satellite connection and a remote job for income and I’d be good. A family member is up in Alaska already, he’s got a plot of land with a natural gas deposit that wasn’t large enough or near enough to a populated area for the US gov to care about. So they’ve got it tapped and have a pretty ideal setup. They bought my grandfather’s tractor a while ago an old restored 1912 John Deere.

          I do enjoy the comforts of living near everything. I’m not sure I could give up having 100s of restaurants to choose from and a dozen or more grocery stores in a 10 mile radius. Or the specialty delis, high speed gigabit, and other comforts of civilization.

          • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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            11 months ago

            One of my peers works in a very remote area of BC (Americans: BC is in another country and it borders Alaska’s south tip) in unionized IT via starlink. Think: the major highway going past it is two-lane.

            • quiet
            • hard work
            • no commute
            • land
            • pension (50% fo life after 25)
            • biking
            • hiking
            • backyard camping is camping

            But:

            • fucking prepper tourists
            • sometimes the power dumps
            • you wanna see what’s outside before going out to the garage.

            Remember: nature doesn’t care about you and we’ve only been pissing her off for 50 years.