the hazards of living in the burbclaves
One from Traeger Grills apparently 😂
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PLEASE tell me you sent this message via smoke signals.
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Convenience. You can start it and keep an eye on it without even having to go out to the grill.
Why does a grill need a screen and buttons? Maybe I’m living in the stone age, but what I call grilling involves putting charcoal to a flame.
When you want to intergrate your smoker into homeassitant so you can adjust it from the office.
It’s a smoker, with a port for a temp probe in the meat.
When you smoke something for 10-12 hours it’s nice to get temp readings from wherever. It might also have automatic control for temperature management.
Why that needs to be connected to the internet is an entirely different matter though.
So you can get updates while you are at work.
That’s a pretty basic program with simple software needs.
If the programming is such shit there is a chance they need connectivity to update it or patch the code once it’s gone into production, it might be best to look into another product.
It’s a smoker add on. I’d assume so you can adjust the temperature without actually opening it.
I have a Traeger and saved $200 because it was the model without WiFi.
I made a delicious turkey breast on Independence Day
Jokes on you when they invent a new kind of meat your grill can’t cook
DRM Ribs. The Salmonella will not die until you pay for Traeger’s $19 a month subscription
The Salmonella will not die until
Oops, RnD team accidentally created indestructible Salmonella bacteria which consumes flesh. Management was pushing RnD to create a better bacteria because hobbyist grill people were killing the bacteria and bypassing the DRM on the grill, but it escaped the lab. It has infected nearly all animals other than sea fish because of proximity. Survivors build floating cities on the sea and thus we have Waterworld!
Wow, that’s super-topical in more ways than I had expected. The more I read, the more scarily insightful it gets.
spoiler
- The main character being a refugee, with almost all that entails (can’t blame Doctorow for not anticipating it getting this bad)
- The dystopian collusion between the appliance-rentiers and the landlord, as well as the climax hinging on lack of tenant protections
- The way capitalism attempts to subsume all critique.
This is a story that’s important, that everybody needs to read.
Please eat verification Sausage.
Skill issue. I eat my food raw. The explosive shits are just me speedrunning my bathroom breaks. Efficiency baby!
It can do bread and the best tasting broccoli and Brussels sprouts you’ve ever had
Are you seriously taking the risk of brussels sprouts with outdated firmware?
Are you live from your backyard where you’re smoking meats?
🎵. meat like a brisket. 🎶
I will never own a grill that has to connect to wifi. In fact, I actively avoid any appliance that adds unnecessary IOT functionality.
I know, right? Why send my BBQ data to the cloud when I can just cook with a handful of GPUs, locally? To start the grill you just ask the animated waifu to dance and sing a random, AI-generated song that matches your taste in music. Then the fans spin up and send scrumptious GPU heat into the grill, cooking up a delicious hallucination where your animated waifu sings, “That looks yummy! Yummy yummy yummy! Hai hai hai!”
That was me until HomeAssistant and ESPHome
What are the chances they shipped it on Thanksgiving vs Thanksgiving being the first time in a while the user turned it on?
This, but why does it need a firmware update and why couldn’t it be setup to update on shutdown rather then power on?
Why does it have firmware?
I’m an IT nerd but they could not pay me to buy a grill that requires software updates. What a bunch of nonsense.
I’m an IT guy, if my printer made a noise I don’t recognise I’d shoot it.
Yesterday my WIFI air purifier crashed after changing the speed with the app and turned itself off and even caused the Ethernet switch to crash and hang.
I will never need a wifi connected kitchen appliance. A grill fits that category. My grill is a disposable item I buy one every four or five years.
None of my go to devices are internet connected. Not my TV screens. Not my toothbrush. My daily driver is a 2009 Toyota. Its great. No screens and easy to fix.
Just out of curiosity… What are you doing to your grill that you need a new one every few years? Mine is prob. 10 years old and still no reason in sight to replace it.
As someone in the PNW, there is not much you can do if you don’t bring the dang thing indoors that won’t leave the thing a pile of rust in 5 years.
I am trying with a specific form of stainless to see if it makes a difference.
Nah, just give it the rattle can and paint it every now and then. “Once dor dust, twice for rust.”
I see, yes i also have a stainless steel one, which is outdoors all year. Good luck, i suspect you might have just solved your “grill consumption” :)
Have you tried ceramic? I don’t know if it makes sense but just a doubt
Someone will knock it over at some point within five years turning it into a sad jigsaw puzzle.
They shoot at it when the food is subpar.
Sending a temp updates to your phone so you don’t have to be standing near it the whole time is a nice feature.
Okay, I’m not a huge griller, but wouldn’t it be better just to build in a thermostat? Let it maintain its own temperature?
Commercial grills do exactly that. There’s just a thermostat built into the gas valve which uses a sensing bulb to modulate the gas flow based on actual temp and set temp. They don’t even need electricity let alone wifi.
It’s better to just purchase a temperature probe with wifi. Those are handy as hell.
I agree, but that should be a separate device. One that I can use in any grill or oven. There’s no reason for the grill itself to have that feature, especially if it can potentially brick the whole thing.
Sometimes I just need a device that can do what I want it to do. Obviously I don’t want a device that can be bricked, but that’s just a shitty programming, not a condemnation of the whole concept. I have a whole host of devices that never brick themselves, and I intend to get more.
Iirc, you can also control the temp, presumably by interacting with the pellet hopper or fan. This will be specific enough for a BBQ that an integrated component makes sense.
I can see the appeal. I’ve just had bad experiences with devices that use digital controls, and you necessarily need digital controls if you’re going to automate these things. Everything breaks eventually, but simpler devices can usually be easily fixed whereas anything that relies on specialized circuit boards are outside of my wheelhouse. I would be much more comfortable with owning one of these if they released information on how these circuits worked so that replacements can be made even if the company disappears.
That’s reasonable. I, too, like to keep things low tech as much as possible. But I also recognize that there is a legitimate place in the world for wifi enabled BBQs.
I have a Masterbuilt that has optional firmware updates sometimes, nothing mandatory and certainly nothing automatic. It’s a gravity fed charcoal grill that works like a computer controlled forced air rocket stove. Gets up to 700 degs from cold in 10 mins if I want or hold 225 for the rest of time as long as I keep feeding charcoal into the hopper and emptying the ash bin. The computer is adding actual value.
No soggy pellets, no weird feeding issues, the biggest problem I’ve had with it was the hatch sensors all going out over time, but once I jumped the circuit past them it worked fine again to this very day, going on six years now.
which minecraft mod is that?
Gets up to 700 degs
That’s a furnace. Aluminium melts at 700 degrees. Gold at 1000.
I think they are using facism units
Yes, stupid empire units. You had me excited for a minute but I should have known that was absurd.
Yes, and doors should be as simple as this
oh, wait…Iirc, these grills are wifi connected so you can remotely monitor and control temperature. Makes sense if you are bbqing something that is gonna be in there for 12 hours. But then, you kind of lose one of the benefits of bbqing - sitting next to a grill and drinking beer with your friends for 12 hours.
For this you could have a timer on the thing you set when you start it up and can then walk away from. You don’t need the damn net to have a clock in the appliance.
I mean, I personally am not going to buy one. But if someone was adamant that this would measurably improve their life, who am I to contradict them?
Grill, Dehumidifier, Air con, Fridge, Dishwasher, Washing Machine, Lightbulbs, Ovens, Doorknob…
None of that should be smarter than “press button, get action”.
Connected HVAC can be pretty damn great depending on your house. It’s changed my energy usage a lot, and I like being able to adjust temps without walking downstairs in the middle of the night. Although having your thermostat lose cloud support ever 10-15 years is pretty shitty.
Connected doors are also great for handing out virtual keys and ensuring that stuff is shut and locked when you’re away.
I’m warry of electronic, wireless, and sometimes third-party cloud dependent services, having a say in how I lock my doors or control heating.
I’m a bit old fashioned, but also have to work with solutions where considering the consequences of a compromised entry point is vital. I’d be ok with a way to check that the door is locked, but something that can lock (and, so, unlock) my door remotely? Not a chance. At least, not for a place a value.
Re the locks - my general thought is that if you really want to get into my house, you’re going to get into my house. A rock or brick is very effective.
Locks just lower the potential for easy crimes of opportunity.
The Honeywell thermostats support z-wave. So no cloud shenanigans.
If you are into that: then tplink kasa switches and plugs can be reconfigured via hs100 app on git hub, so that they only look local and don’t try to reach out to a remote server. You can use the app to connect them to your local WiFi. Then you can control them via home assistant locally (or remotely) and not rely on a corporate server and android app for use
I actually have a few of the Matter supported Kasa smart switches.
They work incredibly well, but they still haven’t been updated to Matter 1.3 so no power consumption statistics in Home Assistant.
I ended up going down the matter, home assistant, HomeKit route so I have some options for local network control.
I once wondered why the fuck an oven should need WiFi.
Then last week I was stuck in a traffic jam coming home from work, and took 2 hrs to do what should’ve been a 1 hr drive. (45km distance)
Then I had to make dinner, and I had such little time to have dinner, clean up from dinner, shower, walk the dog, and settle down for bed for work in the morning, I was angrily wishing I could preheat the oven while I was on my way home from work. That’s when I realized the reason for a WiFi oven.
Also, being able to say “hey Google lights out” when I’m tired as fuck about to go to bed and the light switch is on the other side of the room opposite direction from the bedroom, is nice too.
Actually, as someone who has little free time when not stuck at work or in traffic, I’m probably more likely than the average person to appreciate things having wifi.
Doorknobs though, I’ll draw the line there so we can both at least agree on something together
I’m worried about anything that can be controlled through a third-party online service. The amazon doorbell thing is a prime example of what can go wrong, but it can be more subtle, too. And I’m not even talking about obsolescence. Frankly, I’d still be worried if it was a self-hosted, properly configured system where I’m the only one with a legit access.
I understand the convenience of all this. I also have to deal with the risk balance of security vs convenience, which causes me to not tolerate that “too tired to go across the room” justifies “a third party have full control over my doors, lights, heating, ovens, etc.” (not shooting fire at you, see this as a generic example).
The bare minimum would be a fully self-hosted solution, which is possible, although difficult because hardware manufacturers don’t always play nice. And even then, proper, secure setup and maintenance is not for everyone. In the meantime, yeah, I’ll have to move myself when I want to turn on my dishwasher.
Though I’ll admit, I have some lights that are controlled wirelessly… my old phone have an IR port, and they have IR remotes… Technically, an attacker could probably turn them on/off/change colors from behind a window :D
Yeah, like Idek how I would self host any of my gear, beside running it through my NAS, which also runs with its own software, which is no different than running stuff through the apps they came with. If I knew how to program stuff myself, and had the fuck around time to do it, I would.
So for now I’m just living with the easy option of using my roomba, and my cameras with the apps they came with
I was angrily wishing I could preheat the oven while I was on my way home from work. That’s when I realized the reason for a WiFi oven.
Maybe a better oven is better than wifi. It only takes my oven a few minutes to get up to temp.
I come home, turn it on, fiddle with “getting home shit”, and by the time I’m done it’s ready to go. No wifi needed.
Rental. I’ve got no choice than to use the shitty Samsung crap they put in these apartments, which you have to set 25 degrees higher than all the cooking instructions in the world say to, and it still takes 50% longer to cook than it says.
Besides, electric ovens always take FOR EVER to preheat no matter what
Or we could just have better wages and shorter work weeks.
A lot harder to buy that at the store unfortunately.
There was a silly little movie in the 80’s called “Maximum Overdrive”, written and directed by Stephen King.
In it Aliens somehow cause machines to ‘turn’ on human beings and attack us.
They could remake that movie now but instead of Aliens causing the machines to attack people, it could be malicious ‘hackers’ that do it, and it would be more believable that the original film.
You could hack a futuristic firmware upgradable power knife, but how do you hack it to hack off fingers?
Aliens had the supernatural power to be the machines
A self driving tesla trapping people in a gas station is 100% more believable than the semi.
Something is there…
I feel like hackers would always have been more believable than aliens.
The original story was written before the Internet and so before hackers even existed. One of Stephen King’s cocaine fever dreams iirc.
Hackers predate the Internet. Phone phreaking, like the Captain Crunch whistle is basically the origin of hacking and hacker culture.
But your larger point is valid and there was probably more than a little cocaine involved with thinking up that story.
TIL
The same kind of grill that can be bricked remotely if you stop paying for software updates.
when you buy a wifi-grill you kind of missed the point of grilling.
It’s great for smoking though. I’ve done it the old fashioned way of staying up all night to feed wood into the smoker and I’ll gladly take a wifi-enabled pellet smoker with a temperature probe over it.
Why do you need wifi? You turn a knob and fill it with pellets every couple hours.
To get the temperature probe data on your phone so that you don’t have to repeatedly get up to check it. It’s particularly useful for turkey, where the difference between moist and horribly dry white meat is only 5-10 degrees.
Why not just buy a wifi probe instead of an entire grill? I’d rather a tiny thing stop working than being unable to use my grill at all because it’s jammed with too much tech.
Truly do they do anything else worth it? I’m a plain charcoal grill person, so never wanted or looked into anything beyond that.
Imagine a grill without the latest firewall
