• dlok@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I don’t want gifts and it annoys me when I get them because you’re just receiving an obligation to work out what the giver likes when it’s their birthday or Christmas.

    • vithigar@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      What an awful way to view gift giving.

      I don’t ever expect reciprocation when I give a gift. That’s the entire point of a gift. We’re not bartering.

      • Stamets@startrek.website
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        1 year ago

        Then congratulations on having a healthy childhood. I sure as hell didn’t. For me I will only ever see it as an obligation. My mother used them as ways to control me. Now I just don’t like getting gifts because it makes me think that person is going to hurt me.

        • vithigar@lemmy.ca
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          1 year ago

          I mean… that still sounds awful. Just through no fault of your own. Which is arguably worse. Or at least more sympathetic.

          • Stamets@startrek.website
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            1 year ago

            Yeah that’s all I mean. Not everyone purposefully views gift giving like that. I had to do so as a simple defense mechanism.

        • dlok@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Yeah I used to get shamed for not buying presents when I was a teenager and didn’t have a job and I find it really mentally taxing to figure out what to buy people… people who are good gift givers are capable of doing so without it hurting themselves financially too much imo. when I had a job I found myself over compensating by buying people expensive electronics which wasn’t sustainable if I was going to save up and move out so the whole thing just stresses me out.

      • dlok@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Just out of curiosity would you still buy someone gifts if you knew they didn’t like receiving them?

        • vithigar@lemmy.ca
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          1 year ago

          Short answer is “no”. I don’t want to make people uncomfortable and won’t foist gifts onto them that they don’t want. It can be nuanced though, depending on the person and situation. Some gifts are better received than others. Some might not even be perceived as gifts.