Who’s getting therapy, is that the kid from Home Movies?

The whole thing is dumb if you accept a premise of “infinite monkeys”. An infinite number of monkeys will type the works of shakespeare immediately, because an infinite number of them will start with the very first key they hit and continue until the end. (So it’ll be complete exactly as fast as a monkey can type it, typing as fast as simianly possible, with no mistakes.) You don’t even need the infinite time.

It only becomes interesting if you look at the finite scenarios.

And BTW, the lifespan of the universe is finite due to the eventual decay of all matter, including the monkeys and the typewriters. There’s no infinite time.

Do you think he’s as sick to his stomach as everyone else

Trump is the market favorite because some rich dipshit was ballot stuffing. Ignore the market betting.

STOP. FUCKING. REPUBLICANS.

Look, I know women in these situations often have no easy way to get out from the financial situation they’re in, or will be alone and unsafe with a vengeful partner. I feel terribly for anyone in that situation, and if I knew anyone like that personally I would offer to help them.

But don’t fuck them in the first place.

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Another way that works is just to catch them on a downward tangent to their current fall trajectory, but rapidly slowing down and then turning back up. It means your scenario has to have enough vertical space to perform this maneuver, but not necessarily a lot–even a very small downward deceleration will turn death into bruises, because it’s like falling into padding.

This is a pretty funny bit, but 99% of people just see this bumper sticker and think “Another MAGA fuckhead”. There’s committing to the bit, and then there’s whatever this is.

The question is, did Cartumante go to the Bad Dragon website for references or just… look over at the shelf.

I definitely thought it was weird that a lot of people were specifically blaming the comedian for the PR jokes. Like, yes, the jokes came out of his mouth, but they were laser targeted at his audience.

Glad to see Trump once again clearing up the confusion about who’s the main villain.

Err, you actually can’t kill 1.3 billion average americans. There aren’t 1.3 billion Americans.

That’s what gets me about this one. It’s not just that they don’t care until it affects them–it’s how incredibly specific this one is. My dude, did you think that he hates Mexicans, South Americans, Dominicans, Haitians, literally every single person on Earth living south of the Texas border, EXCEPT Puerto Ricans?

Sure, he hates black people, Mexicans, Ukrainians, basically Europe, every single person in a blue state, women, the justice system, Jews, TAYLOR SWIFT, trans people, Haitian immigrants, sure he also hates pets and children, but at least he’s okay with Puerto R–

. . .

wait HANG on he said WHAT

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I keep seeing people call it “X, the Everything App” and ngl it’s funny every single time

This comic conveniently omits that the Republican party has been incubating the fascist alien eggs in their party for decades. And then they attached the face-hugger to themselves.

This seems like irony but if you think about the number of humans killed by bees and compare it to the number of bees killed by humans,

Sure he needs to be taxed into dust. But he doesn’t own the WaPo because it’s making him rich. He runs it because it’s a propaganda machine for him.

He lost 10% of his subscribers, almost immediately, when he tried to use it that way openly. Which says:

• it’s now a 10% less effective propaganda machine (and that number will keep growing)
• it’s possible that it was never effective in the first place

Given those two propositions, he might just unload it, which would be nice for the rest of us.

Yeah, I don’t see any other option. I’m just saying it ain’t good.