I would like to subscribe to additional funny pigeon anecdotes

I agree with your premise, and here is some additional unsolicited information:

Vanilla ‘beans’ technically are fruit from hand-pollinated orchids! So scraping a seed pod or using extract makes no difference. It’s never been a bean.

Coffee ‘beans’ are seeds from the fruit of coffee trees and shrubs.

That makes sense, thanks for teaching me something today :)

I don’t speak Spanish (helpful eh?) but I remember when I was in Mexico I went to a cool place called Xel-Há, which was pronounced shell-ha. So there’s one.

Agree with spider mites, pretty sure I can see webbing between the leaf tips.

Neem will work, so will insecticidal / horticultural soap and it smells less bad. Heck they’re soft-bodied, you could probably spray 50% isopropyl and kill them too. I like the soap because it’s really cheap and safe for pretty much anything without farina / epicuticular wax (I feel like some begonia Rex aren’t a fan either).

This is a good sized infestation so I would recommend starting by rinsing the leaves really well in the shower or with a hose. After debulking the colony, then use insecticide.

Check your other plants too OP! Mites are not particularly particular.

Now it’s over, I’m dead and I haven’t done anything that I want. Or I’m still alive and there’s nothing I wanna do.

I can’t think about how old that song is, it hurts me.

It’s not, it’s a Meijer (Midwest chain).

You can just say ‘five zero’ and it’ll be interpreted as 50, I just tried it.