Try arcolinux. It’s normal arch + packages you select + a pre-customized DE or WM

Diy freeskates. They seem simple enough to try fast, and look like they could actually be useful for my commute.

Yes

Buy a brother printer instead. They may be a bit more expensive, but their easy mantainance and the amount of bootleg ink you can find online makes it worth the extra price.

Thank you for captioning the meme, it helps a ton of people

This belongs to lemmygrad, not memes