Why not label the ports and cables with:

• 10Gb/s
• 2.1Amps
• 1080p at 60hz

It’s future proof and doesn’t need a decoder manual other than basic literacy. It can be in whatever language the fucking keyboard is. If you want to be redundant but even more clear:

• Universal Serial Bus -> (this hole right here)
• Speed: 40Gb/s
• Power: 2.4Amps
• Audio/Video: 4K at 120Hz or 8K at 30Hz

For anyone that thinks about shit plumes: Iirc last time I heard it mentioned and looked at the study, it was based on public restrooms with high pressure flushing mechanisms, not the slow flush tank dump I think most people have at home. If it sounds loud and splashy, maybe a shit plume, if it’s a sploosh swirl blub blub, prolly not a shit plume. Pouring water on shit doesn’t really aerosolize it, power washing it does.

The full riddle limits you to one question.

*shoulda