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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 24th, 2023

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  • "Some of you have come to believe that I like war. I wish to dash these rumors. I do not like war.

    I LOVE war.

    Through my life, I have discovered so many forms of war. You get up in the morning, you get into your shitty car, and you see a rich CEO who works half as hard as you do drive down the street in his Porsche. Class war.

    You make it to work, and you find out that the annual drug test is today. And you just so happened to take a puff of your one-hitter a couple nights ago before dinner with your wife’s awful parents. Drug war.

    But then, you find out that the only ones being called in for testing are your black and Hispanic co-workers. Race war.

    Then, you try to post about it on your Facebook, but then all your friends start arguing about what’s right und what’s wrong. Flame war.

    You finally get home, and you decide to relax by watching a program about: “Who gets the box?” “What’s in the box?” “How much is what’s in the box worth?” Storage Wars.

    chuckle What I am telling you, my Nazi army of 1,000 vampires, is that I am a purveyor of war. And with your help over the years, we are now at the precipice of our true goal.

    You see, I want a simple war. No class wars, no drug wars, no race wars, no flame wars… Und certainly, no Cold Wars! (Blueballed for 40 years.)

    What I want is a war that only we can bring. A true war! A German war! The sequel you’ve all been waiting for! I! WANT! WORLD! WAR!! THREE!!!"

    -Hellsing Abridged











  • Getting a dog has helped me in ways I never expected. I just figured “cute, cuddle, good for brain chemicals”. But they HAVE to be walked at a certain time. They HAVE to be fed at a certain time. Regardless of any of your internal issues, you love them and you have to provide for their needs.

    So when you are in the kitchen filling their bowl, you make yourself some toast or grab a banana. When you are taking them for a walk, maybe you go a little farther because they like it and it’s good for you. If you struggle to get up in the morning, they look to you pleading to be taken out to pee and you get yourself up and dressed. They need training and that requires being consistent, so you do it for them. It’s so much easier to do it for them than for yourself.