Santa is stuck in one of those subspace bubbles where time runs much faster and it only intersects regular space on Christmas Eve.

You’re absolutely correct, Garek, it’s a truly absurd fairy tale, by any measure. On a completely unrelated subject, may I introduce you to your lord and savior Jesus Christ?

You see, the secret is that humans - and especially children - are incredibly self-centered, and will rarely bother to think of the other people in the world at all. Santa is for them, not other people.

Sort of off topic but I honestly hate Santa. I don’t think it’s cool to lie to kids, especially to tell them that they and their actions are constantly judged by an invisible third person. That’s before getting into the class issues around rich kids apparently being better in this all knowing all seeing quasi benevolent god’s eyes. Why else would they get the good stuff while the poor kids get the shitty stuff and the knockoffs? Was no one else upset as a kid finding out that adults had essentially engaged in a conspiracy to deceive you? Fuck Santa. And fuck mass surveillance and judging gods and normalizing those concepts in children.