• saltesc@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I’ve moved to a small city—like a town, really—where everyone my age has kids. It’s weird. They’re all miserable and broke, but it seems to be the thing you’re supposed to do here, so they all do it.

    It’s so unusual to go to the pub after work and everyone my age leaves before sunset and the only ones sticking around are in their 20s.

    Where I used to live, people would arrive at the pub at 8 because they were watching a friend’s afternoon gig, at the climbing gym, or catching up with other friends first. Then at like 10, we start calling it in because it’s a Thursday, so after waking up at 8:00, you got an hour to shower, eat, and get into the office.

    Here, they’re up at 5 to get ready, then get the kids ready, then drop them to school, them work all day to pay for it all, then leave early to pick up the kids, take them to after school events, help them with school work, cook them dinner, and go to bed at 9 exhausted and anxious, arguing who’s turn it is to call the boss to say they have to be in late because they have to take the kids to school, then work extra hard to make up for it so that second full-time income doesn’t disappear.

    I feel like I don’t belong here simply because I’m aware of the reality I’m in and the little life I normally get each day is too precious for so many reasons. It’s so weird that people understood this in my much bigger city, but not here

    Influence of societal cultures, eh. Whattaya do? Certainly not bring a kid into this miserable world while becoming miserable and attempting to raise it. Too many of my generation had that and I’m not goi

    I think under earlier circumstances, I’d have made an excellent parent. But my awareness of that is the irony of why I, despite wanting to, should not have a kid. I can’t raise a human responsibly when in a world I struggle to deal with myself. It’d be thinking purely selfishly and I’m sure they’d suffer for it. There are stronger people out there than me and I admire them for it, but I’m not willing to risk myself and another human to find out if this engine at 90% capacity has another secret gear.

    • dasgoat@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I do not have the same experiences you have, but your considerations are one for one the ones I make. I’m not putting someone else in this mess if I can help it.

    • online@lemmy.ml
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      9 months ago

      I have two questions:

      1. How old are you?
      2. What do your friends with kids say about why they have a kid?
    • Surp@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I’m a millennial with a child and I’m so happy. The company you keep just seems dumb. They sound like people that can’t make choices for themselves. You can absolutely plan having a child if you want one and still be happy. We live in a tiny two bedroom apartment and it’s fine.