• Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    87
    arrow-down
    60
    ·
    edit-2
    4 months ago

    You guys want to consider gender in vacuum but it is never a good idea.

    Look at the sexualisation and brainwashing of the girls and patriarchy and men having this big power gap and sometimes using it in the most monstrous of the ways even today let alone 100 years ago. This is why the second image is big wtf while the first is small wtf.

    That’s because in the first no one would immediately think that they sexualise the boy while in the second we arrive at this conclusion immediately and without hesitation thanks to all the hard work of men thorought history.

    I know having this original sin of your fathers on your shoulders is not a cool feeling but this is the reality we are in.

    The sooner this collective PTSD heals and that can only happen after some time of treating women as humans, the better for everyone. Problem is that point in history is far, far away considering the core issue is still prevalent.

    It will take another 100 years of intense education and raising new generations to have the society that isn’t obviously fucked up and deeply hurt.

    • LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      70
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      4 months ago

      No one in the picture or the audience is sexualizing little girls (or boys). Instead, the outrage is caused by harmful expectations of purity that are imposed on girls and women, but not boys. As well as the current moral panic about pedophilia, which again is unhelpful in actuality protecting children.

      Want to protect help children from predators? Help them remove the stigma around their bodies and sex, and empower them to speak and be heard when something they don’t like happens. Failing to do so reinforces the feelings of shame that all too often enable predators to get away with what they do.

      And maybe also don’t share potentially embarrassing photos without consent but that’s small potatoes compared to the above issues.

      • barsoap@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        47
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        4 months ago

        Help them remove the stigma around their bodies and sex, and empower them to speak and be heard when something they don’t like happens.

        This. So much this. If auntie wants to give them a kiss and they don’t want to get slobbered then tough fucking luck auntie, I’ll back the little shits up when they bite you. Predators are, by and large, able to do what they do because people don’t teach kids that they do, in fact, have bodily autonomy.

        And while I’m at it bodily autonomy of kids also implies that parents don’t parade photos around like some fucking trophy or something. Have some basic fucking regard for your own kids and what they want. How would you feel when they’re showing nude pictures of you to their classmates yeah I thought so.

        • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          10
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          4 months ago

          How would you feel when they’re showing nude pictures of you to their classmates yeah I thought so.

          Depends, does your mom have an onlyfans?

          • uis@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            4 months ago

            “Knowledge is the light in the darkness of ignorance”.

        • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          4 months ago

          I like this take. If you get to show photos of your kids naked to your friends, they should have the same privilege.

            • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              4 months ago

              Explaining consent to certain members of the comments section is like explaining music to a rock, I think this approach might get the message across.

      • Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        4 months ago

        I like this additional take with pure facts and discussion, It’s mostly uncharacteristically civil and starts to be interesting or at least has potential to be.

        However I am mostly focused on why one picture is big wtf and why one is smaller wtf.

    • Sorgan71@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      28
      arrow-down
      12
      ·
      4 months ago

      Collective ptsd is not real and anyone who uses that term should be mocked mercilessly for the rest of their life.

      • Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        20
        arrow-down
        7
        ·
        4 months ago

        In fact, collective trauma can impact relationships, alter policies and governmental processes, alter the way the society functions, and even change its social norms (Chang, 2017; Hirschberger, 2018; Saul, 2014)

      • Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        15
        arrow-down
        11
        ·
        4 months ago

        collective trauma refers to the impact of a traumatic experience that affects and involves entire groups of people, communities, or societies. Collective trauma is extraordinary in that not only can it bring distress and negative consequences to individuals but in that it can also change the entire fabric of a community (Erikson, 1976).

        I appreciate your efforts but it is a real, scientifically proven phenomenon.

        • Trailblazing Braille Taser@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          17
          arrow-down
          6
          ·
          4 months ago

          Sure, but PTSD is a specific disorder that individuals are diagnosed with. If a group of people are unable to work towards a single goal, saying they have “collective ADHD” is imprecise and potentially offensive to people with the diagnosis.

          That said, I knew what you meant 🤷

          • barsoap@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            4 months ago

            I think there’s a couple of people around with collective OCD that just can’t stand metaphor.


            Jokes aside, and not being a sociologist, I do think it’s a good distinction because PTSD implies a maladaptive reaction to trauma, and communities, just like individuals, can process their trauma well or they can mess it up.

              • TempermentalAnomaly@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                4
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                edit-2
                4 months ago

                I was talking about collective trauma which OP was citing, though their initial term is collective PTSD.

                Why would you use n-gram and not journal search engine like Google Scholar. There seems to be an engagement in the concept of collective PTSD since about 2007.

                Is this an area of research or practice for you? It is not mine.

              • Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                13
                ·
                edit-2
                4 months ago

                Trauma and ptsd can be used interchangeably. PTSD is more precise term and clinically significant. Trauma is more colloquial. I used PTSD on purpose to accent the debilitating effect it has on the society as a whole.

                • The Stoned Hacker@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  14
                  ·
                  4 months ago

                  trauma and ptsd cannot be used interchangeably at all. PTSD is a specific mental condition documented in the DSM-5 and recognized by doctors that have multiple variations and nuances that must be taken into account. Trauma is an overarching term to describe experiences that have had a significant and profound impact on someone’s mental state and health. I’m not usually a crazy stickler for word usage but this is just horribly imprecise language. You can have trauma without having PTSD. They are not the same thing and should not be treated as such.

                  • Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
                    link
                    fedilink
                    arrow-up
                    2
                    arrow-down
                    6
                    ·
                    edit-2
                    4 months ago

                    Leiva-Bianchi, M., Nvo-Fernandez, M., Villacura-Herrera, C., Miño-Reyes, V., & Parra, N. (2023). What are the predictive variables that increase the risk of developing a complex trauma? A meta-analysis. Journal of Affective Disorders, 343, 153-165.

                    It’s rare in literature where there is a need for precision but common in practice

      • Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        12
        arrow-down
        10
        ·
        4 months ago

        Aydin, C. (2017). How to Forget the Unforgettable? On Collective Trauma, Cultural Identity, and Mnemotechnologies, Identity, 17:3, 125-137, DOI: 10.1080/15283488.2017.1340160

    • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      15
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      4 months ago

      You’re right, but I feel showing people photos of your child’s genitals should never be OK, outside of medical professionals etc.

    • ameancow@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      16
      arrow-down
      9
      ·
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      The hot tl;dr of this that is going to get you a lot of angry boys sending you incoherent diatribes is that we haven’t decided as a species that we will stop sexualizing youth.

      Yes there are biological imperatives for the sexually aggressive sex to seek out mates that are young, healthy and capable of producing offspring before they become too old to reproduce. That’s all a thing that’s real, but it’s as far distant in our past as most other ancient instincts that we’ve put to rest. We just keep this one alive because we want it to continue broadly. The whole notion of older men predating and sexualizing youthful appearances or “innocence” as standards of femininity is absolutely something that if we all decided together was no longer acceptable, it would end tomorrow. (Or realistically in one generation.) This is not a more natural part of us than anything else we choose to follow or not, because we are well above using any natural response system as an excuse to allow dangerous social norms to continue.

      The reason I say this is because there are a lot of men who will secretly or overtly hold the position that since we have biological urges, then it must be natural and acceptable. Meanwhile, ya’ll fuckers completely ignore the thousand other biological drives and standards that we’ve abolished because they’re unproductive, hurt people or just have gone out of style.

      For example: body odor. Do you really think we were using soap and perfume when we were packed together in huts and caves for the last thousand millennia? You are genetically identical to the people who used to bury their faces in each other’s armpits to identify each other in the dark, but the thought makes you gag now because you were socialized to feel repulsion at this. (Fetishes aside.) We can socialize ourselves to believe and internalize almost anything, we are far, far beyond the forces of natural selection and are now choosing our evolutionary path. Wouldn’t it be nice if we chose good paths that respected others and protected children.

    • Akasazh@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      4 months ago

      It will take another 100 years of intense education and raising new generations to have the society that isn’t obviously fucked up and deeply hurt.

      I don’t share in your positivity.

    • uis@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      4 months ago

      sexualisation and brainwashing of the girls and patriarchy and men having this big power gap

      Women can do what men can’t = sexualisation and brainwashing of the girls and patriarchy. Ok. “Men having this big power gap” indeed.

      and sometimes using it in the most monstrous of the ways

      Olga got r63ed

    • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      23
      arrow-down
      20
      ·
      4 months ago

      tl;dr “Misandry is perfectly fine because men are evil and nothing a woman has ever done is wrong.”

      The problem isn’t that the bottom scenario isn’t accepted, it’s that the top scenario is. No one should be showing off nudes of children in public, or anywhere really, regardless of gender. It’s weird, it’s sick, and it has no place in this world.

      • Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        19
        arrow-down
        6
        ·
        edit-2
        4 months ago

        There’s nothing wrong about nude children or any other human old or young. Just go to a beach in Europe…

        Yes Americans are weird about this thanks to years of well… catholic brain rot

        • barsoap@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          13
          arrow-down
          5
          ·
          4 months ago

          If you’re taking photos on a nude beach in Europe you’re getting decked. Kid, adult, doesn’t matter.

          There’s a massive fucking difference between sitting naked in a sauna with other naked people and sitting on public transit, fully dressed, gossiping about non-consensual nudes of children. How is that even a question. How are you capable of equating those things.

        • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          5
          arrow-down
          20
          ·
          4 months ago

          Nude adult humans = Nothing wrong Nude children = “Hi, I’m Chris Hansen with dateline NBC”

          Children do not belong on a nude beach

          • Nicoleism101@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            23
            arrow-down
            5
            ·
            edit-2
            4 months ago

            Well you have no idea then. Here no one cares. It’s normal and nothing sexual about it

            And not even on the nude beach either on a normal beach too there’s hordes of nude children running about. I am waiting for your head to explode now

          • Malfeasant@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            16
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            4 months ago

            Such a weird thing to say … when I was little ('70s) it was not uncommon for kids to swim nude, we didn’t care… Any adults who are ogling kids aren’t going to stop just because of one layer of clothing.

      • zarkanian@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        17
        arrow-down
        8
        ·
        4 months ago

        It’s weird, it’s sick, and it has no place in this world.

        Only if you think a naked body = sex, which is a weird assumption to make if you think about it.

        • wavebeam@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          13
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          4 months ago

          Except the comic doesn’t show them discussing or showing a naked body, it’s a weirdo pointing out the genitals to another person in a very public place. If it was toes, it’d be fine. If it was just a naked body it’d be whatever, mostly. But they’re specifically pointing out genitals, that implies sexual focus. It’s only “cute” and “funny” for the old women here because eventually it’ll be an organ used for sex…

        • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          4 months ago

          Nah, it should never be acceptable to show photos of people naked to your friends without their express permission. Outside of medical professionals of course.

        • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          arrow-down
          6
          ·
          4 months ago

          Because the only time it’s appropiate for two people to be naked together is when dey fucking?

    • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      4 months ago

      we arrive at this conclusion immediately and without hesitation thanks to all the hard work of men thorought history.

      you say this like women have ever had rights to the point that being ogled at “would be bad” the one argument here would be the “daughter is her fathers property” and that’s not really a gender thing, that’s a social custom about gender more than anything.

    • drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      16
      ·
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      Maybe we should encourage suicides in boys starting in schools, would that work for you? Edit: if you are going to down vote me the offer an idea the left will actually do. Otherwise I guess we are bringing up more republican rapists. ‘50% of the world population would feel safer if you died’ is the messaging the left offers so lean I to it or change the messaging