Tl;Dr: a meme went around asking women if they’d rather be stuck on an isolated island with a strange man or a strange bear. Most women chose the bear, largely due to the bear being more predictable and easier to deal with than a man inclined to do them harm, which, based on the experience of most women, is a whole lot of men.
Fragile men took this as an attack on all men everywhere and were offended at being “called a predator”.
There’s a pretty good thread in my comment history where I try to address the issue with one such fellow male and their response is about what you’d expect, confirming all the reasons why women chose the strange bear over the strange man
Edit/preface: none of this is intended to diminish the very real and valid sense of fear that women may feel towards unknown/untrusted men. I am in no way trying to gatekeep other people’s emotions, nor saying women should “toughen up” or whatever. If my comment was construed as such, I apologize.
It’s a bit of a silly premise, because I’m willing to bet the VAST majority of answerers have never been in close proximity to an actual, honest to god, “hmmm that meatbag looks tasty imma eat its face” bear.
I have. It’ll bring you a clarity of mind and a knowledge of complete vulnerability that you can’t really find outside of other imminently life-threatening situations.
Sure, random dude could be a psycho. But if there’s not much (or any) food on the island, the bear is definitely going to eat you at some point, and there’s nothing you can do about that.
All that said, as a dude myself, I wish there were less shitty men out there. Why can’t we all just fucking respect other humans?
A) it’s much less about whether the bear is a bigger threat and much more about how fucking awful men must treat women for the average woman to go “hmmm… Maybe the bear, tbh?” The fact that it’s even something women have to think about for more than a split second is a dramatic failure of our society. THAT is the point, and any discussion of “well you don’t know about bears then…” is reply-guy shit that misses the entire point and simply serves to further solidify how blind most men are to what goes on in the day to day life of women.
B) An aggressive bear is a known quantity. Is it a threat? Obviously. But it’s a threat that we understand extremely well. Like, a quick Google search will teach you everything you need to know about what to do if you see a bear. But a strange, unknown man? Who the fuck knows. They might seem perfectly pleasant and reasonable, act like your friend, and then flip the fuck out when the woman refuses to sleep with him that night in return for all that manly protection he provided during the day or whatever. THAT is why women pick the bear: a known problem is often preferable to uncertainty that could lead to being extremely vulnerable against a really smart attacker.
Remember, the question wasn’t “would you rather be in a locked room with a bear or a man?” It was “would you rather be stuck on an island with a strange bear or a strange man?”
And to your final question, why can’t we just respect other humans? Great fucking question, but the misogynists should be the ones facing that inquiry, not the people on the internet trying to point you towards them. It may be more uncomfortable and even dangerous to confront them, but don’t take the easy way out by asking victims and their allies to be “nicer” instead
That gender disputes reached such an explosive level, that women say they’d rather a bear join them than a man and that man get super upset over this. There’s a little truth in everything. Imagine trying your hardest as a man and still being told ppl prefer a wild animal over you. Imagine knowing as a woman you can’t trust men to the point where you’d prefer a wild and dangerous animal keep you company. And also imagine hating another gender with such a deep passion that a meme becomes a toxic war of insult and discrediting.
I think you hit on something that is a pretty big part of the problem: Men taking it personally. As far as I know, no specific man is mentioned, but a lot seem to insert themselves into the situation.
I try to do my best in life to be a good person, to be a good man, but I completely get why a woman would be worried about being in the middle of nowhere with a strange man, even if that man was me, because they don’t know what that person is capable of.
THIS is EXACTLY the point of the meme. If you understand this, and are a man, you stfu and nod along, or support the women talking about it as a good ally should. The men who don’t understand this are the reply-guys trying to explain how all the women are unreasonable and this is discrimination against men and blah blah blah
Oh so if someone says ‘black people are dangerous thugs, I’d rather encounter a bear than a removed’, it’s all good, a black person shouldn’t take it personally? After all, no specific black person is mentioned. Come on, just be a good ally, stfu and nod.
I am willing to bet many, many people wouldn’t be ok with that, and rightfully so. I know I would not.
That is, at least to me, is both a bit of a strawman and an invalid comparison.
First: The statement “black people are” implies it applies to all of them, or at least the average person, whereas the sentiment that I usually see isn’t that all men are dangerous but rather that some are and it’s difficult, if not impossible, to know which are beforehand.
Second: Men have not been marginalized, discriminated, and systematically oppressed for centuries. People of color have been, at the very least in the west and the countries they’ve colonized.
There’s an additional point to be made here that I feel is relevant: Ethnicity does not inherently infer a large difference in physical characteristics the same way biological sex does. I don’t imagine the strength of an average person varies as much depending on ethnicity as it does depending on biological sex. The average man is much physically stronger than the average woman, in a physical confrontation she’d be at a distinct disadvantage.
Sorry to ping you again, but I want to run a few other things at you, as I find people with the ability to doublethink without blinking absolutely fascinating.
Let’s say, okay, ‘men’ is vague enough that a single individual man should not feel insulted when someone says they’re so bad they would rather get mauled by a bear, because… Reasons idk.
Is ‘women’ vague enough so that it’s just as fine to say, idk, some stereotypical bullshit like ‘women are weak, dumb, and therefore belong in the kitchen’? Should an individual woman not be annoyed after hearing this? Is it not sexist?
Let me know when you want to have a conversation instead of arguing in bad faith. Aside from that I suggest you learn how to be less angry about things on the internet, it’ll make you happier.
Tl;Dr: a meme went around asking women if they’d rather be stuck on an isolated island with a strange man or a strange bear. Most women chose the bear, largely due to the bear being more predictable and easier to deal with than a man inclined to do them harm, which, based on the experience of most women, is a whole lot of men.
Fragile men took this as an attack on all men everywhere and were offended at being “called a predator”.
There’s a pretty good thread in my comment history where I try to address the issue with one such fellow male and their response is about what you’d expect, confirming all the reasons why women chose the strange bear over the strange man
Edit/preface: none of this is intended to diminish the very real and valid sense of fear that women may feel towards unknown/untrusted men. I am in no way trying to gatekeep other people’s emotions, nor saying women should “toughen up” or whatever. If my comment was construed as such, I apologize.
It’s a bit of a silly premise, because I’m willing to bet the VAST majority of answerers have never been in close proximity to an actual, honest to god, “hmmm that meatbag looks tasty imma eat its face” bear.
I have. It’ll bring you a clarity of mind and a knowledge of complete vulnerability that you can’t really find outside of other imminently life-threatening situations.
Sure, random dude could be a psycho. But if there’s not much (or any) food on the island, the bear is definitely going to eat you at some point, and there’s nothing you can do about that.
All that said, as a dude myself, I wish there were less shitty men out there. Why can’t we all just fucking respect other humans?
Here’s what you’re missing:
A) it’s much less about whether the bear is a bigger threat and much more about how fucking awful men must treat women for the average woman to go “hmmm… Maybe the bear, tbh?” The fact that it’s even something women have to think about for more than a split second is a dramatic failure of our society. THAT is the point, and any discussion of “well you don’t know about bears then…” is reply-guy shit that misses the entire point and simply serves to further solidify how blind most men are to what goes on in the day to day life of women.
B) An aggressive bear is a known quantity. Is it a threat? Obviously. But it’s a threat that we understand extremely well. Like, a quick Google search will teach you everything you need to know about what to do if you see a bear. But a strange, unknown man? Who the fuck knows. They might seem perfectly pleasant and reasonable, act like your friend, and then flip the fuck out when the woman refuses to sleep with him that night in return for all that manly protection he provided during the day or whatever. THAT is why women pick the bear: a known problem is often preferable to uncertainty that could lead to being extremely vulnerable against a really smart attacker.
Remember, the question wasn’t “would you rather be in a locked room with a bear or a man?” It was “would you rather be stuck on an island with a strange bear or a strange man?”
And to your final question, why can’t we just respect other humans? Great fucking question, but the misogynists should be the ones facing that inquiry, not the people on the internet trying to point you towards them. It may be more uncomfortable and even dangerous to confront them, but don’t take the easy way out by asking victims and their allies to be “nicer” instead
I find this concerning.
That gender disputes reached such an explosive level, that women say they’d rather a bear join them than a man and that man get super upset over this. There’s a little truth in everything. Imagine trying your hardest as a man and still being told ppl prefer a wild animal over you. Imagine knowing as a woman you can’t trust men to the point where you’d prefer a wild and dangerous animal keep you company. And also imagine hating another gender with such a deep passion that a meme becomes a toxic war of insult and discrediting.
I don’t like this timeline, I want a do-over.
I think you hit on something that is a pretty big part of the problem: Men taking it personally. As far as I know, no specific man is mentioned, but a lot seem to insert themselves into the situation.
I try to do my best in life to be a good person, to be a good man, but I completely get why a woman would be worried about being in the middle of nowhere with a strange man, even if that man was me, because they don’t know what that person is capable of.
THIS is EXACTLY the point of the meme. If you understand this, and are a man, you stfu and nod along, or support the women talking about it as a good ally should. The men who don’t understand this are the reply-guys trying to explain how all the women are unreasonable and this is discrimination against men and blah blah blah
Oh so if someone says ‘black people are dangerous thugs, I’d rather encounter a bear than a removed’, it’s all good, a black person shouldn’t take it personally? After all, no specific black person is mentioned. Come on, just be a good ally, stfu and nod.
I am willing to bet many, many people wouldn’t be ok with that, and rightfully so. I know I would not.
That is, at least to me, is both a bit of a strawman and an invalid comparison.
First: The statement “black people are” implies it applies to all of them, or at least the average person, whereas the sentiment that I usually see isn’t that all men are dangerous but rather that some are and it’s difficult, if not impossible, to know which are beforehand.
Second: Men have not been marginalized, discriminated, and systematically oppressed for centuries. People of color have been, at the very least in the west and the countries they’ve colonized.
There’s an additional point to be made here that I feel is relevant: Ethnicity does not inherently infer a large difference in physical characteristics the same way biological sex does. I don’t imagine the strength of an average person varies as much depending on ethnicity as it does depending on biological sex. The average man is much physically stronger than the average woman, in a physical confrontation she’d be at a distinct disadvantage.
“black people” applies to all black people, but “men” doesn’t apply to all men?
That’s honestly an interesting way of thinking.
I’m not sure if you’re trolling or not but “black people are dangerous thugs” is very clearly a racist generalizing statement.
I never claimed the opposite.
Sorry to ping you again, but I want to run a few other things at you, as I find people with the ability to doublethink without blinking absolutely fascinating.
Let’s say, okay, ‘men’ is vague enough that a single individual man should not feel insulted when someone says they’re so bad they would rather get mauled by a bear, because… Reasons idk.
Is ‘women’ vague enough so that it’s just as fine to say, idk, some stereotypical bullshit like ‘women are weak, dumb, and therefore belong in the kitchen’? Should an individual woman not be annoyed after hearing this? Is it not sexist?
Let me know when you want to have a conversation instead of arguing in bad faith. Aside from that I suggest you learn how to be less angry about things on the internet, it’ll make you happier.
What if it was stereotypes targeting idk, LGBT people, Christians, Muslims, liberals, right wingers, etc?
How do you determine whether a group is sufficiently generic that they are not allowed to be annoyed at stereotypes targeting them?