When you hear the buzzer, stare at the art. You should now feel mentally invigorated.
If you suspect staring at art has not provided the required intellectual sustenance, reflect briefly on this classical music.
[MUSIC INTERRUPTED BY BUZZER]
ooh i hope series 2 is good
This looks like, and “Wellness room” sounds like, a gender neutral term for a lactation room.
The description in that Wikipedia article sounds much nicer and more elaborate than what we actually had at my last office.
Also sounds much nicer than “crying room” or “panic attack room”
This hangs outside at the door:
That all sounded very wholesome until Wikipedia mentioned that it was instead of maternity leave…
Precisely what this is, with the added benefit (to the company) of being used as a prayer room or other various employee needs.
Converting storage to these private/meditation/wellness (corporation dependant branding for them) rooms has been very common.
Imagine the conflict when the woman who needs to pump breast milk and the man who needs to spread his prayer mat and pray meet at the door.
Although I guess it would be easily solved by him putting on a sleep mask. (Earplugs if he finds the squirt squirt of breast milk arousing or distracting.) Or if the entry door is on the East end of the room.
They are typically reserved rooms, so they would just select a different space to book.
“Attention employees! The Wellness Rooms are at capacity! All employees are expected to lower their wellness standards until further notice. End of Message.”
Why would the woman want to pump in the room with a co-worker? Don’t know, feels like your trying to imply something about the man here. Or am I missing something?
I’m not saying either would choose to be in there together. But having been a nursing mother, I know there’s no rescheduling the milk when it’s letting down. And I believe Muslim prayers need to be done on schedule. The man would no more choose to have a woman in the same room than she’d choose to have him in there. It’s the corporation I’m faulting, for deciding to make it multipurpose rather than providing separate places. Or, you know, adequate postnatal leave.
I see, thanks for clarifying. Adequate postnatal leave is definitely what’s needed, and I mean like 2 years not 3 months. I had to use up all my PTO for each of my kids births because there was no paternity leave. My wife only got a couple months. Fun emailing about work when you’re in the NICU.
Yep that’s exactly what this is.
Those do usually need a fridge and sink though. Not sure if it’s a code requirement, but all the ones I’ve seen had that.
Might be why the call it a ‘wellness room’, instead of a mothers room; doesn’t meet the legal requirements.
Maybe it varies state by state. This is what I found when looking for federal requirements:
a place, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion from coworkers and the public, which may be used by an employee to express milk
My former employer had a relaxation room that looked like this.
It was sound-proof and had a massage chair in it.The door to the room was within direct line of sight of the boss’s desk.
I tried going in there once, but the boss called me over and gave me more work.Your former boss is an asshole.
It was sound-proof
Ah. The Scream Closet.
but the boss called me over
Ah, the ol’ Sci-Fi classic: I Have A Scream Closet, But I Cannot Scream.
The Scream Closet Ending was my favorite.
This is some real life Severance shit.
I might be into it though if Reileen Kawahara will come in and tell me what a good boy my Outie is.
Please refrain from expressing desires or preferences, that’s ten points off. You have 90 points remaining.
Please enjoy each fact equally.
I was thinking the exact same thing. The weird length makes it feel menacing.
The first thing I did the moment I saw this was imagine seeing this in Portal, and hearing GLaDOS say something like “Welcome to the Aperture Science wellness room, where test subjects can de-stress after a long day of testing”
“Please commence relaxing.”
BZZZZZT
“You should now be rejuvenated.”
Severance-core
im almost certain this is a breastfeeding/pumping room, but given a neutral name
Either way, it seems like a nice place to take 10 and scroll on my phone for a minute so i support it
the real question would be what sort of limitations does your employer have around it?
Ive worked at places that had ping pong tables and videogame stations in the break room but if you only get a 30min break for a 8 hour shift when are you meant to use these “happiness and welness” facilities
when are you meant to use these
You aren’t. They are solely there to provide a chance for HR to claim it’s awesome slaving for this company, either as a hiring lie, or as a retention lie.
I love how some forms of inclusion can be so multiple purpose.
I absolutely can believe this started as a breastfeeding room but it easily doubles as social-break room for autists/introverts.
This one even has room to pace back and forth, thats like all i am doing when i am really stressed.
At my workplace, you really just use them whenever. I’m a developer and we are encouraged to change environments when we are stuck or working on solving a problem. Or any time you just need to recalibrate your brain for 10-15 minutes.
Obviously, you can’t just sit there all day, but sometimes we like to go there when others go for a smoke break. And sometimes nothing works and everything is annoying, then you can just say: “I’m gonna take 10 and come back with fresh eyes”.
I work in an entirely different industry than you, but we have “going for a walk” when we need a moment to clear our minds
I love taking a little 10 minute stroll about the place as a “break”
We had a ping pong table and after 2 days had to stop using it because the noise upset the developers.
The chair gives +15 comfort and the painting gives +20 inspiration and if there’s at least one empty tile next to it the effect covers a 50m radius so I don’t see the problem???
You pepper a few of these on every floor and as long as you don’t overuse Crunch Time, this will carry you through the midgame with basically zero upkeep.
Wellness rooms are OP if anything tbh.
Hit space to talk
“um. that was a jump. you’re jumping.”
Portal 2 is such a banger.
i don’t call many things “timeless,” much less video games, but Portal 1 and 2 are definitely two of those things
I would call it a triumph. I’m making a note here, “Huge Success!”
And carpet and ceiling. My Oxygen Not Included dupes wish they had it so good.
Place I used to work at had a room labeled “Safe Space” that I can only assume was mandated by corporate because the store manager hung a framed photo of a snowflake on the wall in it. He wasn’t there for very much longer, wonder why?
By Terraria rules, that’s a house fit for a princess
Why aren’t people enjoying the wellness
closetroom? I specifically requested it.Looks like a Dwarf Fortress bedroom
is upset because his bedroom does not have a cabinet or a chest
There is an +elven leather throne+ and a -wall engraving-. What else do you need, you noble?
My rimworld prisoner about to be inflicted with the war crime of eating with table.
I used to hide in a literal storage room when i worked at walmart (I wanted to be away from all people on my breaks). At least this has a comfy chair.
How am I supposed to jerk off in there?
BYOP.
You’d still have to like turn the chair so your back is to the door, unless you want someone to barge in while you’re mid orgasm
Please repeat your question clearly into the room microphone. Instructions will follow.
I am an engineer that does power design for commercial spaces. These “wellness” rooms show up a lot. They are there simply so your corporate overlords can tick a little box under “workplace atmosphere” and add it to the list of bullshit features on their website no employee ever actually uses. It’s very similar to “mother’s rooms”, only those can be considered code compliant based on your location. Sometimes they are also called “phone rooms.”
I think architects upsell them into designs to boost their self esteem.
It’s a lot like when old apartment buildings gut a storage room, put a few pieces of shitty gym equipment in it, and then add “on site fitness center” to the website, and also tack a small monthly fee on your rent.
If I had a dollar for every existing office space I’ve surveyed that ended up just piling office supplies in them, or found them covered in 3 inches of dust… I’d probably have like $100. Not a ton, but enough to definitely make them seem ridiculous.
